Dear Donovan,

My Sweet Buggy,

I sit here struggling with my words, which as you know, is not a common occurrence for me at all.  I am trying to find the precise balance of encouraging you to lead the life that you want to, but also to remember who you are and the family you come from.

The world seems so much different now than it did when I was younger, maybe I was jaded, maybe it’s just that your Gram and PatPat did right by me and your aunts and uncles because race has always been a non-issue.  You are living proof of that.

Unfortunately my sweet boy, I fear you will not have the luxury of living life without being reminded you are not white… However, you may also be reminded you are not black either.  I worry for you now more than ever, in this world that has been overrun with hate and violence that you, my precious old soul, will face more than your fair share of animosity.

As you get older your friends may dwindle because your family is that of blue… IMG_3251your father, grandfather, and numerous uncles, all of whom would sacrifice themselves for you any day.  Please never forget these strong men and all they have done for you when people try to tear them down.

In the same bated breath I must also tell you that not all men are these men, and not everyone will know you are my sweet little boy.  It pains me to tell you this, but you will be judged, on your appearance, on your actions – we all are – it will just weigh more heavily on you… I’m sorry sweetie, your circumstances will be so much different than mine, and I can’t fake my way through this one for you… but you are bright and I know you will always make the right choices for you.

Continue to be the joyful inquisitive boy that you are.  I have not raised you in a particularly conventional way, and I can only hope that over the years that will allow you to empathize with everyone.

Remember D, hate begets hate, and you are loved… Spread that.Flag

 

Always and forever,

Momma

5 comments

  1. Yes. Yes. Yes. Wish I saw so many more posts like this- maybe we wouldn’t be in this awful situation if people thought/wrote about these issues in a constructive, thoughtful and balanced manner, as you have in this post. Thanks for this Bridget. So timely and so important. Donovan is a lucky baby to have such a wonderful, accepting, and courageous family.

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  2. Bridget, this was beautifully written…of course, I cried but what would you expect from your Auntie…I love you both?

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  3. This was heartbreaking yet beautifully worded. As a mom to biracial babies it’s such a delicate line. I have girls but I have to wonder when they’ll be called out or made to feel different because mommy has brown skin. I dread the day but we will always choose love. So glad you shared.

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  4. Lovely post. As a biracial woman I know full well of your concerns. There were times it was very hard for me but I feel that those times have made me a more aware and balanced person. And my two children are also mixed race but I know in my heart that they can and will perserve as will your little guy.

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    1. Thank you Liz. I’m with you, I feel much more aware of things I used to be so lighthearted about. All I can hope is that we are raising a generation that won’t have to have these same worries. <3

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